A Month Offline, Bucket Lists, and One Drop Out 👀
Reflecting on a month away from social media, rethinking my goals, and what’s next for 2025
On December 20th, 2024, I made a “see ya later” post on Instagram, closed the app, and deleted it from my home screen. I’ve been (happily) living without Facebook on my phone for years, so I vowed not to visit that site on my computer for a while. Years ago, I decided to limit my social media usage and have never hopped on TikTok, Snapchat, Threads, or any other miscellaneous social app this aging millennial doesn’t even know about. It was just the two I needed to cut out.
A little over a month later; here’s how I feel:
Free, light, content, thoughtful, slow, calm, rested, peaceful
This probably comes as no surprise to anyone. This isn’t the first time I’ve taken a month off social media (I did it in January 2024), and people…on social media…are often touting how refreshing their break from social media was.
So what did life look like offline?
Invited a few families over for dinner
Decided to host another party for my kids and their friends for no reason at all other than to simply strengthen their community
Spent a few minutes every day writing down things I noticed, observed, or struck me slightly differently than the rest of the day
Kept a daily gratitude journal
Finally read The Women by Kristin Hannah (#1 checked-out book at the library last year)
Played with food and discovered new fun, flavorful combinations
Went for a wintry walk in the woods
Organized that one corner in our house that’s always messy and disorganized
Dug through some dresser drawers and found some items to donate
Connected with our local nature center inquiring about volunteering
Reached out to a (unnamed) location about possibly hosting some intentionality workshops
Wrote more for my email list
I’ve been enjoying Lee Tilghman’s weekly post of offline things she enjoys. Every week I feel inspired! Last week’s was particularly cool and inspiring!
Honestly, I haven’t missed social media at all. I found out that someone had been trying to message me through Facebook, but I never saw it (sorry C+N!), so that’s definitely a drawback of stepping away. And I question how I can continue to grow my business without social media. Many would claim that I can’t.
I’m still not sure. Maybe the people I want to connect with aren’t on social media. Maybe my demographic is somewhere else. Perhaps making more time to connect with people in real life will make a bigger, more important impact than screaming into the void of the internet. Maybe I’m not called to reach millions, but a few dozen real one-on-one connections would make all the difference. For them and for me.
We’ll see. I probably won’t be off social media forever, but I’m not in a rush to return. If I log back in, it’d probably be to check messages, maybe make a post or two, and reach out to someone I haven’t seen in person for a while. I might be wrong. I might need to hop back on to socials and throw my needle in the haystack, hoping the right people find it. But I can tell you that even just writing that previous paragraph left me feeling inspired, motivated, and excited to connect with people differently. I pray that it works.
26 Days into 2025
We’ve all had 3.5 weeks to start strong with our New Year’s goals, bail on them, or pat ourselves on the back for never making them in the first place since “no one sticks to them anyway.” 🙄
A few weeks ago, I gave you a peek into my plans for 2025. Today I’m going to reveal the rest of my 25 things to do in 2025 and tell you about one that I’ve already decided to drop.
I recently heard a podcast with Nicole Renard Warren and she started the hashtag #dostuff. She talked about how in college, she realized that she didn’t just want to make a bucket list of things to do, but she wanted to *actually* do them. She wanted to cross things off the list! That statement alone awoke something inside me and I deeply connected with it. I’ve always had a bucket list. And I’ve done a pretty good job at crossing things off the list. Back in tumblr days I even started a 101 Things to Do in 1001 Days challenge (and I finished 91 of them!). Here are a few things that have been on my ever-growing bucket list that I’ve been able to cross off, some from more than a decade ago:
Visit the Grand Canyon (8/1/23)
Attend an NFL game (1/7/24 & 12/1/24)
Take the kids to Disney World (2/22/22)
Read the entire Bible (2022)
Roast chestnuts on an open fire (12/15/23)
Pay off 100% of debt (10/15/22)
Play Bingo at a bingo hall (7/26/10)
Bake bread from scratch (7/6/11)
Buy a bicycle (5/15/12)
Write my own vows (7/31/10)
I’ve discovered that I want to run away from a life of mediocrity. I don’t want my days to pass where I scroll too much, get wrapped up in the mundane details, or get lost in crossing off things on my to-do list that I forgot about my living-life list! That’s why bucket lists are so inspiring to me. It makes me think about what I really want to do with my time and get pen to paper.
Not only do I love lists, but I love numbers too. So what better way to kick off the year with 25 Things to Do in 2025?! (Gretchen Rubin also does this, which I love!) Here’s what’s on my list this year:
Go to Minnesota
Pierce my ears
Take a swing dance class with Mark
Take daily life notes
Spend 1000 Hours Outside
6000 Intentional Moving Minutes
Complete 1/1/1 Analog Challenge
Read Hunger Games as a family
Visit a brewery
Make our own pasta
Go to a new restaurant (within 30 min)
Try a new cuisine
Run in five 5ks
Start earning money in a new way
Reach $***k+ net worth (she likes to keep them guessing)
***** ******* ****** (I’m not ready to share everything okay?!)
Volunteer 25 Hours
Try a cold plunge
Enjoy a sauna
Buy a new baseball hat
Go cross-country skiing
Host an appetizer or soup party
Free Space
Update this list once a month
I’ve already made great headway on many of these things. The Airbnb in Minnesota has been booked, Mark and I are signed up for the swing dance class, I’ve actively moved 289 minutes, and I’ve touched base with a place where I would like to start volunteering.
But there’s one I’ve decided to drop.
Number 7.
Complete the 1/1/1 Analog Challenge.
I honestly don’t remember where I first heard of this and I wish I did so I could link to give them credit, but it’s floated around in my algorithms for some time now. The original idea (or at least how I heard it) was that you’d spend 1 hour a day, 1 day a week, 1 week a year off of social media. Great idea, right? I wanted to take it one step further and not only be off social media during those times but be completely unplugged: no phone, no computer, no TV.
My hope with the challenge was to give myself time and space to think, brainstorm, and reflect on…things…business, life, etc. I wanted room in my days to possibly find a new hobby or make sure I had time to read a book, things like that. Sounds all wholesome, organic, and inspiring, right? I thought so too!
As the days passed, being unplugged for one hour a day was very easy. I’ve already tried to make conscious choices to stay away from my phone and have screen-free time with my family regularly so that wasn’t a stretch.
Then the weekly calendar pages started to turn, and I thought about how I was going to unplug for a full day…every week. I work at the library 3 days a week and I have to use a computer while I’m there. Monday-Friday when I’m not working at the library and during school hours, I use that time to work on my email list, my wedding videography business, and other ideas I have going…many of them requiring a computer.
Another time, I was taking my hour off from not picking up my phone and saw missed calls and texts from my son’s school saying he wasn’t feeling well. #momfail
I started to realize that unless I was going to take a full day off of work/business every week, this wasn’t going to work. I thought maybe about adjusting my “rules,” and saying that as long as it was “work,” I could still use one of my screens. I could still have access to my phone in case my family or the school needed to contact me. You can see how it all started to become a little muddy and unrealistic for my life.
I thought for a week about keeping the challenge but pivoting. After further reflection, I realized that this challenge isn’t that important to me. It’s not something I feel like I need or would improve my life. As you read earlier in this post, I’m already off social media, so I’m not struggling with scrolling. I barely watch any TV outside of football games (and that season is about to be over anyway). And almost all of my time spent on the computer is for work, either library or business.
I felt like I wanted to do the challenge for the challenge’s sake, not because I was struggling with too much screen time. I’ve realized I DO have lots of time for hobbies (I probably have too many) and I’m currently reading 4 different books. Much of my time spent with my husband and children does not include screens — so why was I trying to set up these strict parameters that were keeping me from working and limiting access to essential communication?
So, I’m dropping it.
And that’s okay! Some goals we make for ourselves turn out to not make sense. That doesn’t mean that we’ve failed or that I’m giving up on the other 24 goals just because I gave up one. Sometimes, we should adjust, pivot, or change the goals to make more sense for our daily lives. And sometimes, we can just let it go.
I’m not sure how I’m going to replace #7. Maybe if I get back on social media, I’ll reinstate the 1/1/1 challenge but keep it strictly for social media usage. Maybe I’ll come up with something new. As of now, I’m leaving it as a second “free space” and will revisit it each month until I decide what’s right for me.
Got any ideas for me? What’s something fun, challenging, unique, or inspiring on your list? If it’s right for me, maybe I’ll add it to mine!
Thank you for reading. I hope you have a well-intentioned week that leads you to a life of vibrancy and variety!
Ashley
This isn’t new to anyone, but I’ve really been enjoying listening to Noah Kahan’s Stick Season (Forever) album from beginning to end. There are 30 songs and it takes 2 hours but there’s just something about listening to a full album, amiright? I love the vibe it creates and it invites me to sit and stay awhile. Sitting on the couch in the evening with Mark, listening to that album and the artwork on our Frame TV is the perfect homescape at day’s end.
Minnesota sounds like fun!!